Lebanese logic (or what’s left of it)


You have to admit that Lebanese logic is pretty amazing. Especially when it comes to politics. Here are the latest most startling examples:

Saad Hariri:
The Saudi military aid was canceled because of Hezbollah and his allies, therefore to prevent something like this from happening again, let’s elect Frangieh, a Hezbollah’s ally, as president.

Samir Geagea:
The Saudi military aid was cancelled because of Aoun and Hezbollah, therefore to prevent something like this from happening again let’s elect Aoun, a Hezbollah’s ally, as president.

Sleiman Frangieh: 
I’m a Hezbollah and Assad ally, therefore anyone who’s against Hezbollah and Assad should vote for me.

Michel Aoun: 
Al-Moustaqbal is a bunch of thieves and I want to get rid off thieves, therefore al-Moustaqbal should vote for me.

Samy Gemayel: 
You’re all rotten and corrupt, therefore let’s take a picture together.

Walid Joumblatt: 
Aoun deserves to be president, Frangieh too, therefore let’s vote for Henri Helou.

March 14: 
March 8 is a danger to Lebanon, therefore to save Lebanon we should elect a March 8 president.

March 8: 
March 14 gave us the presidency, therefore we’ve won, so let’s not elect a president and achieve nothing.

The Government: 
We work hard to create problems we are incapable of solving, therefore you should all stop kissing.

The Media: 
Politicians are lying to you, therefore we will interview as many of them as humanly possible.

The Intelligentsia: 
Lebanon is a jungle filled with mindless beasts, therefore let's go to the beach and take selfies.

The Hirak:
- We refuse garbage exportation.
- So let’s go for landfills
- We refuse landfills
- Ok, what about incinerators?
- We refuse incinerators.
- So what solution do you propose?
- We refuse to propose solutions.

The Lebanese people: 
What’s happening is unacceptable, they're killing us and destroying our beautiful country, letting it happen is a crime, therefore let’s do nothing about it.


© Claude El Khal, 2016