You have to admit that Lebanese logic is pretty amazing. Especially when it comes to politics. Here are the latest most startling examples:
The Saudi military aid was canceled because of Hezbollah and his allies, therefore to prevent something like this from happening again, let’s elect Frangieh, a Hezbollah’s ally, as president.
The Saudi military aid was cancelled because of Aoun and Hezbollah, therefore to prevent something like this from happening again let’s elect Aoun, a Hezbollah’s ally, as president.
I’m a Hezbollah and Assad ally, therefore anyone who’s against Hezbollah and Assad should vote for me.
Al-Moustaqbal is a bunch of thieves and I want to get rid off thieves, therefore al-Moustaqbal should vote for me.
You’re all rotten and corrupt, therefore let’s take a picture together.
Aoun deserves to be president, Frangieh too, therefore let’s vote for Henri Helou.
March 8 is a danger to Lebanon, therefore to save Lebanon we should elect a March 8 president.
March 14 gave us the presidency, therefore we’ve won, so let’s not elect a president and achieve nothing.
We work hard to create problems we are incapable of solving, therefore you should all stop kissing.
Politicians are lying to you, therefore we will interview as many of them as humanly possible.
Lebanon is a jungle filled with mindless beasts, therefore let's go to the beach and take selfies.
- We refuse garbage exportation.
- So let’s go for landfills
- We refuse landfills
- Ok, what about incinerators?
- We refuse incinerators.
- So what solution do you propose?
- We refuse to propose solutions.
The Lebanese people:
What’s happening is unacceptable, they're killing us and destroying our beautiful country, letting it happen is a crime, therefore let’s do nothing about it.
© Claude El Khal, 2016