Sunday, February 21, 2016

Lebanese logic (or what’s left of it)

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You have to admit that Lebanese logic is pretty amazing. Especially when it comes to politics. Here are the latest most startling examples:

Saad Hariri:
The Saudi military aid was canceled because of Hezbollah and his allies, therefore to prevent something like this from happening again, let’s elect Frangieh, a Hezbollah’s ally, as president.

Samir Geagea:
The Saudi military aid was cancelled because of Aoun and Hezbollah, therefore to prevent something like this from happening again let’s elect Aoun, a Hezbollah’s ally, as president.

Sleiman Frangieh: 
I’m a Hezbollah and Assad ally, therefore anyone who’s against Hezbollah and Assad should vote for me.

Michel Aoun: 
Al-Moustaqbal is a bunch of thieves and I want to get rid off thieves, therefore al-Moustaqbal should vote for me.

Samy Gemayel: 
You’re all rotten and corrupt, therefore let’s take a picture together.

Walid Joumblatt: 
Aoun deserves to be president, Frangieh too, therefore let’s vote for Henri Helou.

March 14: 
March 8 is a danger to Lebanon, therefore to save Lebanon we should elect a March 8 president.

March 8: 
March 14 gave us the presidency, therefore we’ve won, so let’s not elect a president and achieve nothing.

The Government: 
We work hard to create problems we are incapable of solving, therefore you should all stop kissing.

The Media: 
Politicians are lying to you, therefore we will interview as many of them as humanly possible.

The Intelligentsia: 
Lebanon is a jungle filled with mindless beasts, therefore let's go to the beach and take selfies.

The Hirak:
- We refuse garbage exportation.
- So let’s go for landfills
- We refuse landfills
- Ok, what about incinerators?
- We refuse incinerators.
- So what solution do you propose?
- We refuse to propose solutions.

The Lebanese people: 
What’s happening is unacceptable, they're killing us and destroying our beautiful country, letting it happen is a crime, therefore let’s do nothing about it.


© Claude El Khal, 2016

1 comment:

Lucien Bourjeily said...

Funny blog post but still there's many inaccurate and misleading statements in it:
1-) Hirak" gave a clear, ecological, and sustainable decentralized solution for the garbage crisis, but the government refused to use it since day 1 cause it takes away their corrupt centralized source of revenue (though 'Hirak' is not more than independent volunteers from the people of Lebanon, not even a party nor getting salaries as ministers, deputies and their consultants and their institutions behind them and their international backers and their corruption)...
2- For the export: Would you have preferred that 200 million dollars of our taxes be spent on a clearly hugely corrupt deal with "Sierra Leone" and Russia?
3- For unsanitary landfills: Would you have preferred unsanitary landfills? or cancer causing Incinerators like the Zouk power plan??? Is this your solution??
2- 'Hirak' is a big part of the Lebanese people (you said the people "did nothing about it") and on the 29th of August more than 150,000 of the Lebanese people took the streets against corruption and against this corrupt, failing political class... 150,000 (in Romania 20,000 made the prime minister step down 4 months ago) so they didn't just do "nothing" they did a lot to create awareness about this disastrous situation, to stop corrupt deals and the failure in adopting an ecological and sustainable solution, and some even volunteered to keep the momentum going and to organize the protests.. for the sake of their children and for the sake of this country...
so, in short, while you might be right about politicians.. your are truly underestimating the Lebanese people like how Marcel Ghanem wrongly did by calling us all Sheep...
We are not Sheep... but we were beaten up and imprisoned and called traitors and kicked out of our jobs and livelihoods.. and such blogpost only serve to dilute the fact that the Lebanese people are a people that fights for their rights... and the fight is on-going.. wether you choose to just keep nagging by blog posts of join the actual fight in the streets, that's your choice.... but please stop implying the Lebanese people do not fight for their rights... i've seen my compatriots first hand in the streets, their courage was exemplary and they do... fight for a better Lebanon.. Hope you'll join... and take care