Tuesday, December 22, 2015

The secret of a happy Christmas in Beirut

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If you live in Beirut and plan to have a happy Christmas, you should follow carefully these 10 indispensable holidays-saving instructions:

1- Don’t take a shower so you don’t run out of water.

2- Don’t brush your teeth so the filthy water in your tap doesn’t get inside your mouth.

3- Don’t buy anything so you don’t get ripped off by shop owners and their absurd pricing of everything.

4- Avoid eating anything so you don’t catch some ghastly disease.

5- Don’t go out so you don’t get trapped in the never-ending traffic jam.

6- Don’t open the windows so you don’t breathe the dangerously polluted air.

7- Put in earplugs so you don’t hear the deafening noise of citerne el mayy.

8- Don’t consume anything so you don’t add to the tons of garbage rotting everywhere.

9- Turn off the your Christmas tree lights so ma bi to2 el disjoncteur when the electricity goes off and the moteur is turned on.

10- And most importantly, don’t watch the local news so you can still have a shred of hope about Lebanon.

Merry Christmas!

@Claude El Khal, 2015

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

#11 stop bitching and whining about your country