Saturday, January 23, 2016

If we were sheep, ya estez Marcel

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TV star anchor Marcel Ghanem said we are sheep. Ya estez Marcel, what did sheep ever do to you to deserve such an unworthy analogy?

Sheep and us are actual opposites. They're sweet peaceful creatures. And very useful. They give wool and make a good stew. Us, on the other hand, we're a different breed altogether.

If we were sheep we'd sell our wool to the highest bidder, moan all day, crap where we eat and turn green pastures into garbage dumps.

If we were sheep, we wouldn't be able to graze together. We'd all go in different directions, get lost then accuse each other for misguiding the herd.

If we were sheep, we'd change shepherds when ours runs out of flouze, then try to cut a deal with the wolf to screw the dog.

If we were sheep, we'd think we're lions but behave like snakes and hiss at everything and everyone.

If we were sheep, we'd find it insulting to end up in a stew. We'd insist on becoming sushi. And if someone tells us sushi is made of fish, we'd say "sheep are the best fish in the world."

No ya estez Marcel, we are not sheep. Because if sheep were Lebanon’s main population, it surely would have been a much better place.

© Claude El Khal, 2016