Friday, January 15, 2016

Welcome to Samahastan (formerly known as Lebanon)

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We haven’t seen this in a long time: the number of requests for residency visas to Lebanon has literally exploded. Since the news of Michel Samaha’s release came out, bomb carriers from around the world want to move here.

“It’s a dream come true, says the president of The Worldwide Association of Transporters and bomb carriers (TWAT), finally a haven where we can live and work in peace.”

“Almost everywhere, we are discriminated against, he adds as he wipes off his tears, people call us names, "terrorists" they say, it’s so unfair, we’re just normal folks trying to make a decent living.”

“It’s not our fault if terrorism has become such a booming business, says a bomb carrier who asked too remain anonymous, and a man needs to work you know. We all have wifes and kids to take care off. We just obey orders that’s all, we do nothing wrong.”

The news of Michel Samaha, a Lebanese former Minister and Member of Parliament arrested on terrorist charges, being released on bail has spread like wildfire among bomb carriers throughout the world.

“It has become somewhat of a legend”, confirms a veteran transporter who has been in the bomb carrying business for decades. “All my life I had to work in the shadows, hiding, now I can move to Lebanon and do my job openly, then eventually retire a respected man.”

“Imagine, says cheerfully the president of TWAT, Michel Samaha was caught the hand in the cookie jar transporting explosives from Syria to Lebanon in his own car, he was also taped talking in details about what to do with these explosives and now he’s out, enjoying the comfort of his own home. This man is my hero.”

He concludes enthusiastically: “Lebanon is such an amazing country!”

© Claude El Khal, 2016

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